Why People Cheat

Majority of people are constantly cheating not with one or two people but with a hell lot of them of them. Cheating is no longer a preserve of men, women are doing a better job in this field with high levels of distinction. Unlike men, women are more generous when it comes to cheating and usually do not mind their cheating partners cheating on them too. Conversely, men are very jealous and controlling hence do not allow their partners in cheating to have anybody else on the side. Do you cheat?

Cheating comes in many forms but the common ones are either physical or emotional. Physical cheating involves getting physical with ‘another person’ other than your spouse or regular mate while emotional cheating involves intimacy or any form of ‘sexual’ satisfaction or gratification which one achieves by involving oneself with another person either through close-talking, good company, phone calls, or mental indulgence. Experts claim that emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating because it draws the cheater completely away his/her spouse. The cheater tends to find ways and means of indulging with their cheating partner to the extend where the spouse if ‘forgotten’.

Cheating, of whichever nature, erodes respect, value, importance, sacrifice and significance that the main relationship holds hence slowly kills it. A relationship can only succeed by maintain close communication and respect for each other and regularly sacrificing for each other. No one, male or female appreciates being designated to position two or lower in the hierarchy of importance in the relationship. Each one desires to be the only thing that their spouses consider most significant to the extent of sacrificing everything else for them. A woman will wish that whenever she calls on her man, he should stop all he is doing and rush to their side; the same is expected of them by their men. When one party in a relationship is sidelined and seen as unimportant, he withdraws or begins to look around for the missing ‘thing’ which most times takes him/her to the arms of someone else. Why do people cheat?

Many writers have come up with long lists of the reasons why people cheat. Though not disputing them, I believe people cheat for four main reasons:

1. Fear of rejection
Many people are neither strong enough to defend what they believe nor courageous enough to voice their desires. While in school, some students always found it hard to make friends. When someone approached them for anything, they would gladly oblige regardless of the efforts, costs or inconveniences with the view of winning at least one friend. This trend continues later in life where even after getting into a relationship or marriage, one cannot stand on their own and express their position. When approached by a person of the opposite sex, the party may find it difficult to say no lest they be despised. This makes them ‘cheap’ since they constantly say yes to everyone with sheer disregard to their spouses.

These types of cheaters can only change their bad habits by gaining courage and standing their ground on whatever principles they setup for themselves. They should be ready to let go what does not help them and focus on building their relationship. When a cheater is busted, the aggrieved party may choose to forgive or break-up. Cheaters of this category may have perpetually failing relationship since they are perceived to lack principles.

2. In search for approval
People in unsatisfying relationship usually venture out to seek approval. A woman whose man rarely complements her may seek other men to get their approval. On a boarding seminar, a lady participant was judged by her fellows as being too social. Many applauded her for getting along well with all participants but before the seminar was over, it was discovered that the lady had slept with more than half of the men in the seminar. It was also surprising that she never slept with any one of them more than once. Probed further, many men said she was lousy in bed and none felt the desire to check her out again. As such, it can be claimed the lady did nothing to spice her sex life hence constantly sought other men who would approve her. Surprisingly, she gets no approval but dejection from all she gives in to; if she would think of spicing herself up, she would change her relationship and get approval from her man.

Other people cheat in endeavor to get benefits which they would otherwise not get in their relationships. A good life is what many look for. A woman with a poor husband will seek other men who are better off; a husband with a small job may seek out women lower in the class to prove to himself that he is still desirable. When searching for jobs or in efforts to maintain them, sexual favors may be sought and the liaison may continue long after the initial contact. This may also be a case of fear for rejection.

People living in abusive relationships may seek extra-marital gratification to escape the realities in their life. When faced with problems at home (relationships) many people tend to open up to outsider who give them a shoulder to cry on. Along the way, this may turn to something different, they may indulge more. Cases have been hard of men and women who share their family woos with colleagues and friends and the same later turn to be their comforters offering them the much needed peace. The closest you can make a person feel is giving oneself hence they indulge and form a bond stronger than what the marriage is offering. With this bond, however bad the marriage turns, the cheater will not mind because she knows she has a way out of it.

Cheating is bad vice which should be avoided at all costs. Try to improve the levels of communication between the two of you and repair any cracks that emerge because if you are caught up by the cheating vice, it’s hard to stop: once a cheater, always one.

Your partner should be your confidant and your biggest asset. If there has to be sacrifices made, they should always be to the benefit of your spouse, you should always defend your spouse in any situation and if correction is required, do it at the confines of your privacy. Your spouse is your number one priority, if you make them feel significant, you will have achieved a quality relationship.