Venturing into the Dating Scene

He has been my friend. We once shared an office and did various field assignments together. It is Mutiga am talking about.

All through the three years we shared as colleagues, he never spotted a girlfriend. He talked good about them and wallowed in their morphology but never attempted to form an association. When a friend of ours posted his details and photo (profile) on facebook and a singles’ column, he was livid, and spent several days without talking to him until he got a call from a lass who had read the profile. Although this damsel talked nicely and kept him involved, she did not give out her number.

On the first call, he was very non-committal but two days later, he yearned for more of it but it seemed two calls were enough. She stopped calling. Mutiga got obsessed. And as if a certain tap had been opened, he started checking out ladies. He could be seen going for lunch, which was not common of him, with female workmates. Before long, he was talking about ladies he would want to see and a few months later, one unlucky gal had ‘got into the box’.

To ensure his success, his male colleagues took him to a bar and paid call-girls to seduce and entertain him. Surprising, he send them away.

When the office was restructured unceremoniously, he was send to an outstation where he would never enjoy the lure of the city girls again. Wonder of wonders, he got himself a girl. This girl called Bentar can from across the divide of the country where he would travel miles and cross cities to be with her. Although she controlled how they communicated and met, he never sensed a thing.

The rules were laid; that as the man, it was his responsibility to call; travel to see her at her convenience; be available on call and foot all miscellaneous expenses – which were several. He advised her they buy low tariff calling lines which reduced the calling budget but he could not see her when he needed her.

Three months of dating were characterized by daily calls from him and never once from her, even when he failed to call. On the fourth month, she asked him for an extra-ordinary date. He was amused. The amusement was not last long.

Before they could talk for long, she told him that her interest in him had ended and that she wanted him to be happy. That she was getting bored talking to him and she could not see a future in them. She was also courageous enough to ask him, ‘what lessons have you learnt in our fourth month relationship?’

Heavy hearted, he talked amidst tea cups, they took plenty of them that day, trying to convince her to reconsider her decision. She would hear none of it and after severally asking her whether she was serious about her position, he swallowed the bitter pill and took leave.

Two, three weeks passed before he could confide in his friends. He told them how he knew very little about her and how she never opened up to him to an extend he knew none of her friend s or family although they were talking of settling down.
The time he called her for a meeting, she feigned not to know her. It is then he learnt she was taking him for a ride. He started learning about ladies and their ways and now he is becoming a master in their game. He has a chain of them, manipulating them like puppets and calling them ‘play items’.

When the player becomes the referee and the spectators start playing, the whole game changes and the rules have to be written afresh. His objectives have changed. He has vowed to become the best player and play with the best. To him, although too late in life, the future looks big. His only regret is that he started too late.